For some it may be hard to figure out. I have been through situations where I had to think hard on this topic. I truly believe committing to the wrong person can lead you down a destructive path.
So today, I'm here to provide some tips at to things to consider in answering this question.
1. Does he/ she encourage you to be a better person?
It is of extreme importance for us to look the fact that our partner doesn't encourage us to become better persons. This is a big red flag and if she do not become better we are essentially getting worse. It is not worth it to be with someone and not grow to your full potential.
2. Does this person emotionally and financially drain you?
Many relationships that we experience may entail some emotional abusive components as well as financially negative components. I believe that for a relationship to work each person has to give there all. If an individual is emotionally abusive or condescending that is a big red flag to me. Negative behavior no matter what will eventually get you down. It is not worth it let it go!
I also have to speak on the financial aspect as well. Coming from a Caribbean culture it is emphasized greatly that a male should take care of his partner. In many cases a woman who takes care of a man financially is considered a 'fool.'
For this topic, I simply apply the 50/50 rule. In an economy such as this one it is simply not practical for the average man to spend all of his earnings on his partner. I do believe a man should take care of his household but, there still needs to be balance. You cannot be wealthy and he is starving. I also appeal to females that if you see that your man is in financial difficulties you can also help. I do not believe in paying his rent and bills but if he has proven himself to you you can return the favor.
3. Do you see yourself spending the rest of your life with this person?
Is this person the ideal individual you would like to get married to?
Do you two speak of the future?
Do you see yourself having children with this person?
Does this person even want children?
When entering into a more serious relationship your really have to look into the future and analyse if you really see a future with this person.
4. Do you have similar life goals?
You may as 'what does this have to do with anything?' For me if you are a goal oriented individual it is best to find someone who is the same. It tends to pose a problem if one person sets high standards for themselves whilst/ the other may be lacking ambition.
Jamaican mothers many times say 'no take up no man wid no ambition.'
In many cases what may happen is that one partner may end up holding back the other or it simply ends badly.
5. Is your family fond of him?
For me family is a big part of my life and we have many family events, this being said it would be a deal breaker if family doesn't like you. For me, my family is very friendly so for them not to like you it is a big deal.
Disclaimer: you have to look at the type of family that you have and the reasons that they have for not liking this person. If the reasons are minor and you see yourself being with this person do not stop your relationship for anyone.
6. Your partner is accepting of who you are.
He/ she loves everything about you even the weird parts. This a positive sign as this means the person truly accepts you for who you are and you can truly be who you are around them. This is a must in every lasting relationship. You cannot try to change a person into what you want them to be.
These are just some points to look at but I also must state the importance of following your heart. Don't let anyone stop you from loving that special one.
Yours truly,
Toni-Shae
For an enquiries and collaborations email me at tonishaepanton@gmail.com
Please note that many pictures and videos posted are not the property of this blog and are merely used for entertainment purposes.
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