Is he the right guy for you?

If you are courting, in a relationship or even dating we ask ourselves 'is this person right for me' at least once in that relationship.

For some it may be hard to figure out. I have been through situations where I had to think hard on this topic. I truly believe committing to the wrong person can lead you down a destructive path.

So today, I'm here to provide some tips at to things to consider in answering this question.

1. Does he/ she encourage you to be a better person?

It is of extreme importance for us to look the fact that our partner doesn't encourage us to become better persons. This is a big red flag and if she do not become better we are essentially getting worse. It is not worth it to be with someone and not grow to your full potential. 

2. Does this person emotionally and financially drain you?

Many relationships that we experience may entail some emotional abusive components as well as financially negative components. I believe that for a relationship to work each person has to give there all. If an individual is emotionally abusive or condescending that is a big red flag to me. Negative behavior no matter what will eventually get you down. It is not worth it let it go!

I also have to speak on the financial aspect as well. Coming from a Caribbean culture it is emphasized greatly that a male should take care of his partner. In many cases a woman who takes care of a man financially is considered a 'fool.'

For this topic, I simply apply the 50/50 rule. In an economy such as this one it is simply not practical for the average man to spend all of his earnings on his partner. I do believe a man should take care of his household but, there still needs to be balance. You cannot be wealthy and he is starving. I also appeal to females that if you see that your man is in financial difficulties you can also help. I do not believe in paying his rent and bills but if he has proven himself to you you can return the favor.

3. Do you see yourself spending the rest of your life with this person?

Is this person the ideal individual you would like to get married to?

Do you two speak of the future?

Do you see yourself having children with this person?

Does this person even want children?

When entering into a more serious relationship your really have to look into the future and analyse if you really see a future with this person. 

4. Do you have similar life goals?

You may as 'what does this have to do with anything?' For me if you are a goal oriented individual it is best to find someone who is the same. It tends to pose a problem if one person sets high standards for themselves whilst/ the other may be lacking ambition. 

Jamaican mothers many times say 'no take up no man wid no ambition.' 

In many cases what may happen is that one partner may end up holding back the other or it simply ends badly.

5. Is your family fond of  him?

For me family is a big part of my life and we have many family events, this being said it would be a deal breaker if family doesn't like you. For me, my family is very friendly so for them not to like you it is a big deal.

Disclaimer: you have to look at the type of family that you have and the reasons that they have for not liking this person. If the reasons are minor and you see yourself being with this person do not stop your relationship for anyone.

6. Your partner is accepting of who you are.

He/ she loves everything about you even the weird parts. This a positive sign as this means the person truly accepts you for who you are and you can truly be who you are around them. This is a must in every lasting relationship. You cannot try to change a person into what you want them to be.

These are just some points to look at but I also must state the importance of following your heart. Don't let anyone stop you from loving that special one.

Yours truly,

Toni-Shae 

For an enquiries and collaborations email me at tonishaepanton@gmail.com

Please note that many pictures and videos posted are not the property of this blog and are merely used for entertainment purposes.

Motivation for success!

Welcome back to my blog everyone.

Sorry for the lack of blog post lately. I really wanted to start making youtube videos. But it really was not working out.
Instead, I am just going to put my message in a blog post.

I am going to give everyone my advice when it comes to motivation for success.

In this present time where almost everyone is on social media or has some affiliation with it, it has lead to this 'grass is greener on the other sign syndrome.' Basically this means that when you look at another life you think of it as somewhat better than yours. In many cases we will see where this has lead to 'haters.'
In my opinion only person who are filled with jealousy speak negativity about others with no apparent reason.
Instead of speaking negativity, why not improve yourself and become successful.

Here are some basic rules that I have for persons trying to make it on the path of success.

1. Work smart not hard- This basically means that instead of spending hours on end to get a task done, efficiency should to used. With this we could find a way to get this same task done in a matter of minutes instead of hours with the same or greater level of accuracy.

2. Listen to the advice on how to make yourself better- Even though we should focus on the advice given to us, not all persons 'giving advice' actually mean good towards you. Also, some basically have no expertise in the field you are focusing on. Surely it would not make any sense to take their advice.

3.Do not let anyone demotivate you- This being said. I do not think your head should be in the clouds. You need to be very real with yourself with what you are doing. But some person are just spiritual dream killers on assignment. So, if you spot a person like that just move away.

4.Constantly improve yourself- Always look at your faults and try to fix them. If it is that you are under-qualified for a position you want go and fix that.

5. Always maintain a balance- Always remember the person who a behind you 100%. Never forget your family and the people you love after achieving success. If you are spiritual never for the God who gave these blessings to you.

XOXO

Toni-Shae
For business inquires email me- tonishaepanton@gmail.com

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FASHIONISTA IN THE STREET BUT A TITAN IN THE BOARDROOM!

I cannot stress this topic enough. It is very important to look great when doing whatever you're doing but, if the only thing you have going for you is your looks you may have a major problem. Don't just be one of that girls waiting for someone to buy her those clothes and to "maintain" her lifestyle. It is always great to have someone to take care of you but, always make sure that you can take care of yourself if he leaves.

The number one stereotype I cannot stand held by many business persons is that once a woman is beautiful and well dressed she will not be a good business woman. People generally just think that once you look that great, you should just be some trophy wife who has no place thinking about business. This being said, women you have to work harder to be respected, some of you need to stop acting like you are brain dead! Act like you have some common sense in a boardroom, always be prepared and for God sakes don't sleep your way to the top...unless the boss is you husband *laughs*

ACT RESPECTABLE AND PEOPLE WILL RESPECT YOU 

XOXO

TONI-SHAE